Here we talked about stuff, from graduation to summer plans. I edited it all out because it's boring and I know you don't want to read it. So anyways, in the meantime, my dad started bringing in the mail and I had a lot of cards from people sending me graduation money...

Hit The Bullzeye : Lois, since you've been talking to me, I have made $115
GonnaVisitHalifax : what?! how!?
Hit The Bullzeye : selling my virginity on eBay
Hit The Bullzeye : oooh another bidder, $140!!!
GonnaVisitHalifax : what?!
GonnaVisitHalifax : i'll put down 200
Hit The Bullzeye : well I need something to do this summer, and I like travel... the latest bidder lives in.... Norfolk, Illinois
Hit The Bullzeye : pssh, I WISH
GonnaVisitHalifax : no seriously, what are you selling
Hit The Bullzeye : I'm not kidding
Hit The Bullzeye : not like it's gonna get taken any other way, I might as well make some $$ off of it
GonnaVisitHalifax : ok, explain
Hit The Bullzeye : I am what the bible likes to refer to as a "virgin", aka, I have not had sexual intercourse with another human being/animal. Being a nerdy weirdo like I am, the chances of me losing it any time soon are slim to none... so I figured, since I want to lose it, and I like to travel, and I like making money, why not sell it?
GonnaVisitHalifax : are you ****in me?!
Hit The Bullzeye : Lois! Watch your language!
Hit The Bullzeye : and no, I'm not, I'm dead serious
GonnaVisitHalifax : what the heck are you thinkin?!
Hit The Bullzeye : lmao, sorry! Like I said, it's not like I'm losing it any other way
GonnaVisitHalifax : are you seriously talking about selling your sexual virginity? as in you are going to have sex with the highest bidder from anywhere?
GonnaVisitHalifax : what is the site?
Hit The Bullzeye : yeah! It'll be cool getting to travel and meet new people
Hit The Bullzeye : ebay
GonnaVisitHalifax : not like that!
GonnaVisitHalifax : what is the specific site
Hit The Bullzeye : huh?
GonnaVisitHalifax : give me the link, i want to see the site

Hit The Bullzeye : gruh, crud, wait a sec
GonnaVisitHalifax : what do you have to make up the site cause it doesnt really exist?
Hit The Bullzeye : my computer has been on all day and thus my internet is running really slow, I might have to restart
GonnaVisitHalifax : ok, but first...
GonnaVisitHalifax : are you STUPID!!!!!
GonnaVisitHalifax : you are like a male prostitute!!!!
Hit The Bullzeye : I don't intend to do it again (unless I like it ;-)
GonnaVisitHalifax : well the first time is enough
GonnaVisitHalifax : ok, level with me...are you being for real cause if so you really need some help
Hit The Bullzeye : grrruh, yes I am, but it doesn't look like my internet is gonna open. Lemme restart
Hit The Bullzeye : brb
GonnaVisitHalifax : k

Hit The Bullzeye : ok, now let's see if it'll work
GonnaVisitHalifax : k
Hit The Bullzeye : gruh, still going slow, my ISP must be farting
GonnaVisitHalifax : lol
Hit The Bullzeye : but it's just now loading my home page, Zacpensol.com, but reaaaaaally slowly
GonnaVisitHalifax : poor computer needs a kick
Hit The Bullzeye : no joke, it's 5 years old though
Hit The Bullzeye : so of course it's slow
GonnaVisitHalifax : lol
Hit The Bullzeye : ok, now i'm searching for it on eBay....
GonnaVisitHalifax : ok
Hit The Bullzeye : http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&categ ory=306&item=47123456789rd=1 there

(That link really does work, it forwards to a ZacPensol.com-hosted site. None of the links on it work, however. I made it really quickly, so there are some flaws, but this is the one I showed her.)
GonnaVisitHalifax : you completely made that up, the website is zacpensol.com
Hit The Bullzeye : no it's not. I have a forwarding address link to there
GonnaVisitHalifax : well if you are serious...
GonnaVisitHalifax : what the HE** are you thinking??!?!?!?!!
Hit The Bullzeye : it's so you can host it on your site and thus do whatever you want in the bid, instead of hosting 100% on ebay's servers
GonnaVisitHalifax : how convenient
Hit The Bullzeye : like I said, I just want to travel and meet people, make money and get laid
Hit The Bullzeye : if someone around here would do it, then it'd all be called off, I'm not 100% hot on the idea
Hit The Bullzeye : I just figure it's the best way to go about doing it
GonnaVisitHalifax : if you really want to get laid that bad i'd do it just to keep you from getting some freak in your pants
Hit The Bullzeye : really?
Hit The Bullzeye : that's sweet of you Lois, but no, you don't have to.
Hit The Bullzeye : I'm sure keeping your's is too important to you
GonnaVisitHalifax : your right, i wouldnt do it and neither should you. i do believe we had a conversation at one point about keepin one's virginity until you are with someone you love. where did that philosophy go?!! This really concerns me zac, what if you do get some freak, like a 40 year old man, did you think of that?!
Hit The Bullzeye : yeah.... and though it's pretty disgusting, it's only once, then I never have to think about it again
GonnaVisitHalifax : OH MY GOD
GonnaVisitHalifax : do i need to come to your house now and hit you over the head with a brick?! that is soooo stupid and im not afraid of offending you.
Hit The Bullzeye : I'm sorry Lois :-(
Hit The Bullzeye : hey, I gotta go for a bit, I'll ttyl. Thanks for your concern, but wish me luck in the bid! I'm up to $172!
GonnaVisitHalifax : there are other ways of getting around the united states and im sure you would have no problem finding some slut to give it up to you
Hit The Bullzeye : but I don't want a slut, I want someone as lonely as me, but I gotta run
GonnaVisitHalifax : i am not wishing you luck!! go do youself
Hit The Bullzeye : lol bye

And then I went back to invisible. Muhahahahahah!